Nggak semua orang mau nolongin orang lain, kalaupun mau, nggak semua orang bisa tulus nolonginnya.
Nggak semua orang peka sama sekitar, boro-boro sama sekitar, sama diri sendiri aja nggak semua orang bisa.
Nggak semua orang bisa nahan emosi, mungkin karena udah capek nggak dihargain.
Nggak semua orang punya etika, mungkin mereka pikir buat apa ada etika, toh gue ini yang ngejalanin hidup, ya suka-suka gue.
Ditambah lagi, nggak semua orang bisa berubah jadi sosok yang orang lain mau.

Jadi, daripada saling berekspektasi, mending duduk diem, nonton tv, sambil makan kuaci.
Dunia udah makin keras, kepribadian orang udah makin beragam, dari yang paling abnormal, sampe normal banget.
Bukan gue nggak nerima keragaman, tapi, untuk mengharapkan sesuatu secara berlebihan dari orang-orang yang makin kesini kepribadiannya makin nggak ketebak, menurut gue itu udah kesalahan besar. Kesalahan besar gue.
Mungkin gue juga termasuk dari orang yang kepribadiannya makin nggak ketebak itu, mungkin, ya mungkin, saling berekspektasi bukan hal bagus untuk dilakukan di zaman sekarang.
Udah ah, makan kuaci aja mending.

"Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions." ~Edgar Cayce

I kind of a agree with that quote. Suatu hari, gue terbangun dari mimpi dimana gue ketemu dengan salah satu temen ngaji gue waktu di TPA dulu. Orangnya ganteng. Baik lagi. Tapi gue nggak pernah suka sama dia, as a girl to a boy. Lha jelas, orang waktu kita temenan masih SD -sekitar kelas 2 sampai 5- Love wasn't on my dictionary at that age, not like kids nowadays. And even now it's still a strange word in my dictionary. Don't know why.

Pas gue mau keluar rumah bentar buat fotocopy, tiba-tiba ada cowok naik motor lewat depan rumah, and he smiled, and the big deal is, dia temen ngaji gue yang gue mimpiin semalem. Aneh kan? For many years, I've never had a thought about him, and for only one dream, already leads it to reality, because in my  dream he also smiled. Silly but true, I also smiled when he smiled, and my heart is, fluttering, but I don't wanna make that big, because I know that it's no more than a yearning. A yearning from a long friend.

Tapi karena gue nggak tau apa dia masih inget sama gue, jadi nggak gue sapa, lagian dulu kita juga gak temenan deket banget. For all I know, that dream's indeed an answer to what happened latter, like Edgar's quote. -Gue mimpiin dia, pertanda kalo gue bakal ketemu dia-

Beberapa hari berlalu, dan tadi malem gue mimpiin tentang dia lagi, tapi dia nggak nunjukkin wajahnya, cuma gue yang keliatan nyari-nyari dia, karena disana ada semua temen ngaji gue waktu TPA dulu. Akhirnya, gue nggak berhasil nemuin dia. Gue juga nggak ngerti kenapa dia doang yang gue cari, but dreams don't really need reasons, right.
Tapi di lain sisi, mimpiin temen-temen ngaji bikin gue kangen banget sama mereka, karena mereka salah banyak orang yang cukup membuat kehidupan SD gue lebih sedikit bermakna -yeah, fyi, I don't like elementary school, I was bullied mentally, terribly awful-

Dan beruntung gue masih punya temen2 ngaji yang sangat baik dan lucu, sayang gue nggak punya kontak mereka sekarang. I miss you guys. T_________T

2 Weeks Remaining

There are still 2 weeks before I start the 2nd semester at college, meanwhile some other students already lost their holiday since several days ago and some other haven't feel the joy boredom of holiday.

And I think this longer free-time would make me the happiest student, or not..

It ain't that I don't like holiday, I like it much, I LOVE IT! But this one feels a bit too much, well lets say its just because I'm still not really familiar with my campus holiday agenda. For some perspectives, it may be a magnificent time to students who can spend it efficiently and effectively, like maybe go to work, make something for their future -I have no idea tho-, or help their parents, start something new to explore themselves et cetera et cetera. I am so envious of them in essentials.

If you know what I do in this holiholiday, you might be not wanting to have it this long, because I'm just sticking with laptop, playing around with high-school friends -that doesn't cost much Rupiahs of course-, walking randomly at home, sleeping all day, watching tv shows and movies, eating, EATING, EATING, thats ridiculous because I am already 5 kg fatter. Yes I am fat. Girls are so sensitive about kilograms, and how do you think my holiday with those activities? It might be fun for some first days, but believe me you won't stand it for the whole one and a half month. You'll be chased by boredom.

For my entire seconds in this life, this is the first time I hope holiday will finish faster. I should stop being useless and clueless. Lol.
I have intentions to find job at first, but you know, as I said before I am clueless about what work will suit me that won't make me a burden if I work there, and the harder I think, the more clueless I am.

So, I hope I can be useful in next holidays, maybe I can explore myself to know what work best suit me.

I'll be out now
Wish me a wonderful remaining 2 weeks of holiday!
Xoxo.

Holiday!

Is it just me or midnight is indeed the rightest time to make a blog post? Even I'm not that one who likes blogging so much tho. You know, right now I'm in the middle of a very long holiday. I mean it when I say very long, it starts from January 12th to March 5th (if I'm not mistaken), and this one's gonna be the longest holiday ever in my whole life.

I just finished my first semester at University, majoring in Public Health.
I want to talk a bit about my major, people who have no idea about this may say that all the graduates will work at Public Health Center (in my country, it is known as a place like hospital but 'more humble', because it mostly serves middle-low economic class people).
The truth is this major point ain't about to work in that one place. It is about how to increase the level of public health, and for the easy explanation I can say that if doctors first intention is to cure sick people, then public health graduates intention is to prevent people from disease with its many ways because in Public Health major, there will be specific studies like epidemiology, nutritions, environment health, occupational health and safety, health promotions, biostatistics, and health service management. And I tell you that's not as easy as people always think.

The truth that there will be people who always look down on this major will never fade away. I don't want to blame them, but sometimes the way they talk are just too irritating like we (Public Health students) don't have any bright future, like we'll do study, but we'll end up at a place with a low class, no fame, lack of earning because this major is (considered by them as) one of the strangest majors in the world. I'm not exaggerating, but really, that's the point I get from some ignorant people who talk nonsense about my major. And how dare those people easily laugh and think that Public Health Center is a low place whereas it saves so many people lives! And maybe I can't prove them right now about how this major is really important for the living, but watch me someday I'll make you guys know the taste of being reckless at concluding.
Well, I shouldn't be this angry anyway. Guess my anger is way too worth it for them. Sorry :p

Anyway, I'm gonna spend this holiday -like always- at home. I don't really make some big holiday plans that will cost much Rupiahs because, you know, I'm in the regret-for-being-wasteful situation. Lol. I'm almost 18 but my minds are sometimes even worse than a 10 years old kid's when it comes to saving money. Really. Especially when it comes to foods. I can't help buying good foods. Do you guys perhaps know the therapy to overcome this situation? Please contact me. Or maybe you can offer me a part-time job? That's also very welcome :D

Call me a kiddo, but I'm already sleepy at this hour in holiday.
Well, I'll be heading to dreamland, then. Bye!
Xoxo.

Soot

Suatu hari, Aghni, sahabat gue yang dalam hitungan bulan akan beranjak 18 tahun, nanya arti dibalik nama blog gue, Good of Soot, gue jawab "..nggak tau" But because that answer sounds too pathetic, I added "...soot itu kan jelaga Nos, noda yang item-item kayak di panci itu, yaaa semua yang jelek-jelek pasti ada baiknya..." Gue jawab dengan pede. Aghni nanya lagi "baiknya apa?"  Gue cuma bisa jawab... "nggak tau". Aghni tertawa keras. Gue juga tertawa. Menertawakan diri sendiri. That made me even more pathetic, right?

There is an exact meaning. But I don't understand how to say it directly. So in case Aghni has a walk to my blog, I guess you will find the answer here Nos :p

Soot. Jelaga. Gue juga baru tahu kata itu dari AADC. Ada di salah satu puisi buatan Rangga.

"..bosan aku dengan penat, dan enyah saja kau pekat. Seperti berjelaga jika kusendiri..."

Gue penasaran banget arti kata jelaga setelah denger puisi itu berulang-ulang. Akhirnya gue tau kalo jelaga itu adalah noda hitam, yang biasanya ada di panci-panci gitu. Tau kan? Nah, dulu gue nggak ngerti apa hubungan noda di panci sama puisi Rangga. Apakah Rangga merasa seperti noda panci ketika sedang sendiri?
Jawabannya tentu tidak.

Kata jelaga ternyata bisa dijadikan kiasan yang memberikan kesan gelap, sedih, muram dan perasaan-perasaan sedih lainnya.

Dan soot yang gue pake dalam nama blog gue itu, gue ambil pada makna denotasinya, meskipun gue nggak tahu apa kebaikan dari noda di panci, tapi yang gue maksudkan disini adalah sesuatu yang mungkin dari luar terlihat jelek, tapi pasti tetep ada kebaikan di dalamnya, meskipun cuma setitik. Tuhan aja udah menekankan kalau segala yang dibuat-Nya tidak pernah sia-sia.

Gue dapet satu tulisan yang sangat menarik di kompasiana.

“tak perlu dicuci sampai sebersih itu, kuali, panci, dsb.”

Aku bersungut-sungut, “kenapa?”

“Aku suka jelaga.” Katanya bangga. “Jelaga bisa memunculkan inspirasi bagi kalimat dalam karyaku.” Lanjutnya.

(credits to Winda Ari Anggriani http://bahasa.kompasiana.com/2011/10/12/jelaga-senyum-dan-rindu-400896.html)

Lihat kan? Kita udah dapet satu kebaikan dari jelaga. Menginspirasi seorang penulis :)

Jadilah gue pilih judul Good of Soot untuk blog gue. Sounds weird, indeed. But at least I know what I'm choosing ;) Dan siapa tau judul blog gue juga bisa menginspirasi orang, atau setidaknya menginspirasi diri gue sendiri.
 
Well, enough for now.
Bye! Xoxo